Krazy Keyblades!
by Lozzieh
Summary: Another random Kingdom Hearts story? Yosh! A new villan is in town and Sora, Donald and Goofy are as stupid as ever! -Random, Crazy, Weird Fanfic-
1. The First Chapter

**Hello! This story is pretty… weird, prepare yourself. It's one of my 'I was bored and had nothing else to do' stories. Hope you like!**

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Sora ran through the town, his Keyblade swiping at all the Heartless and nobodies that dared to come near. He wasn't scared though, no. Not the Keyblades chosen one. He was having a great time! "Three little girls at school are we, three little girls from school are we, filled to the brim with girlish glee-EE! Three little girl at school!" He sang with his high pitched squeaky singing voice. Donald followed him up. "Everything is a source of fun!" Goofy joined in. "Hahahahah, huh-yuck!" The heartless and the nobodies all disappeared. "Where did they go?" Sora asked his team mates. "Gawrsh, I think they got scared away by our here singin'," Goofy replied, looking around and holding his shield. Donald laughed his duckish laugh and waved his staff around. Sora yayed. "Yay! We rock shit!" They skipped off into the distance.

But little did they know that they were being watched. A new villain rose from under his rock. It was.. Rock Man! "Muharhar!" He cackled evily, rubbing his rocky hands together. "The Keyblades Chosen one will are crushed, and I will grab the Keyblade from then! Then I will be instoppable!" His voice rumbled, just like rocky boulders. Although he had made his dastardly improper grammared plan, Rock Man hid underneath his rock once more. He needed to wait 'till the time was right. Unfortunately, the perfect time was actually then when Sora, Donald and Goofy were skipping off into the distance unsuspecting and unaware.

Sora stopped and held the Kingdom Key tightly in his battle pose. "Donald, Goofy, dangers afoot." Goofy gasped. "Oh by golly! I didn't know danger was a foot! Huh-yuck!" Donald pointed to the dusk that had appeared. "No time to think about that now! It's a Nobody!" With that, they battled. The dusk was pretty smart, dodging and dipping Sora's swipes. Donald lifted his wand into the air and shouted, "Take that!" A lightning bolt zapped down, but the dusk quickly jumped out of the way. Goofy braced his shield and threw it like a boomerang at the Nobody, missing it by an inch and returning to his grasp. This continued for a few minutes more.

Sora started to get frustrated. "Why wont you just die!" He screamed, lobbing his Keyblade at the dusk with great fury that it's force was too much for the simple average Nobody. Hitting it right in the gut, it disappeared! A red icon popped up above them. It read:

"Sora

HP Bonus! New Ability – Fury Of Rage"

Sora was thrilled! Not only had he gained more health points, he also gained a new ability! Quickly going into the menu and into the Abilities screen, he equipped the ability with the remained ability points he had. He felt so strong, it wasn't funny.

Suddenly, Rock Man popped up in front of them. "Me have you keysword now! I have defeat youse!" With that, he began to attack. Rocky boulders were summoned from his hands and raced dangerously towards the group. Sora screamed. Donald screamed. Goofy 'huh-yucked'. Quick as the lightning Donald had summoned earlier, they sprinted down the hill that just formed, the boulders screaming a war scream behind them, getting closer and closer every second. Rock Man was running on top of the biggest one, when he summoned, the rock that was used was under his feet and by the time he realized it was too late.

Sora was now panting. "How… long… is… this… hill…!" Donald was struggling to keep up because of his short legs being too short. "Use your new ability to destroy the boulders!" Sora's red face brightened. "That's right! I forgot about that!" The trio halted in a flash and turned to face the threatening rocks. "Stop chasing us," Sora growled, bearing his teeth. And his Keyblade. "Or I'll destroy you!" The boulders didn't answer. "Fine! You asked for it!" The brunette clenched his jaw and chucked his Kingdom Key toward the boulders with great force. The Keyblade hit, but bounced back into Sora's hand. It didn't work.

The boulders sped toward them, Sora, Donald and Goofy all just standing there screaming. Rock Man screamed too. The collision was terrible. The Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee had to come and scrap the trio from the side walk. Rock Man was never seen again.

**You like? Review please!**


	2. Hula Skirts and Kidnapping?

**Hello again! Next chapter… up!**

**-kyuubiqueen- - -no comment- ;**

**Enjoy!**

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Rock Man hid in his big rocky cave made from rocks. His last rocky plan turned out to be rock bottom. His growl rumbled. Like rocks. And pebbles. "Darn them Keyblade kid," He grumbled. "How doesn't him give the Keysword to I?" He listened to his rocky echo hum through the cave. Suddenly, an idea popped into his improper grammared mind. He would take his plan into action at once. Quickly, Rock Man rolled away to commence his plan.

Sora, Donald and Goofy were dancing in Hawaii. Sora was wearing a grass skirt and a flower necklace, and had a very mellow expression on his face. Donald and Goofy were hip-hop dancing because they were idiots and had no idea what was going on. "Duuuuude," Sora mumbled, waving his hands along with his swaying. The banjo strummed and the dancers danced in unison. Except for Donald and Goofy. Who were still hip-hop dancing.

A big screen flew down from the sky and landed in front of Sora. A rumbling rock voice was transmitted, and a picture of Rock Man's face appeared. Sora gasped. "I thought you were never seen again!" Rock Man gave a pebble puzzled expression. "What give you the ping?" "The end of the last chapter said you were never seen again!" Sora replied, somehow understanding Rock Man's grammar mistakes. Rock Man shook his rocky head. "No right," Sora nodded and smiled.

"UP BACK THERE SHARP!" Rock Man rumbled. Sora was confused. There was a point? Rock Man thundered a laugh. "I has gotted the love of you live! Grab I the Keysword or you love dies!" Faint screaming was picked up in the background. 'KAIRI!' Sora panicked, running off of the island and arriving at Rock Man's cave in no time. Donald and Goofy trailed behind him in the desperate search.

They searched high. They searched low. They searched wide, and tall too. They searched everywhere ,but they couldn't find anything. Not even a single pebble as a clue. Then they realized, that they had gotten the wrong cave. "Damn those unicorns!" Sora hollered, kicking the wall and causing a rock slide. They all screamed and bustled out as fast as they could.

By the time they got to the right cave, after going to numerous caves that looked alike, it was about an hour after they got the message. Sora was in such a state he was attacking everything to find shortcuts. He knocked into a wall and the whole thing collapsed. They had finally found the right room! A white screen hid the long haired figure. Sora ripped the screen down in no more than two seconds. A muffled scream sounded from the figure.

It was… Riku! Sora started to cry. "Riku… I'm here now…" Riku struggled and screamed another high-pitched scream. Rock Man grasped Sora in his rocky hold. "Muharhar! Me had your know!" Riku squealed again, tears forming in his eyes. He was tied up with rope so he couldn't escape, and his blindfold was strapped to his mouth. Sora didn't know what to do. Should he give the Keyblade to Rock Man? Or risk Riku getting hurt? No, we would do neither of these things.

Mustering all of his strength, Sora kicked Rock Man is his rock hard goolies. Rock Man let him go in agony, and fell to the ground. "You… Right… The… Fight… Bum not tomorrow hour!" With that, he faded away. Sora freed Riku and Riku ran out of the cave and into the distance. Sora was happy.

Sora looked down and screamed. He was still wearing the hula skirt and flower necklace. No wonder why Riku was screaming.

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**Stay tuned for the next chapter! Hoped you liked. Review!**


	3. How to Bathe in Pebbles

**-kyuubiqueen-'s making me write this really fast. x.x;;**

**So I'll probably be updating VERY often.**

**-kyuubiqueen- - Muharhar! No-one understands the improper grammar! 8D**

**Samcyxk – I'm glad you 'lol'ed. xD I'll say everything he said in the last chapter, 'kies?**

"_Darn that Keyblade kid, why doesn't he give the Keyblade to me?"_

"_What gave you that idea?"_

"_Not true."_

"_BACK TO THE POINT!"_

"_I have captured the love of your life! Give me the Keyblade or your love dies!"_

"_Muharhar! I have you now!"_

"_You… Win… This… Fight… But not next time!"_

**From now on, after Rock Man says something, I'll put the literate version after it in brackets. To make everything clear. Sometimes I can't even remember what I made him say. –laughs-**

**Erm… on with the story. xD**

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Sora swiped his wooden sword with his great strength, but Riku blocked. He tried again, all he did was swipe the air. Swinging his sword in a circular motion around his body, he desperately tried to hit the silver haired boy. Sora had insisted that he fight Riku, to level up and get more Abilities and spells, so there they were, fighting on the little island off shore of Destiny Islands.

It was now Riku's turn to attack. He delivered six lightning fast strikes against Sora's sword. Sora could barely defend them, they were not only fast, but they were also strong. He was knocked to the ground by a bone crunching blow, a spiraling hit from Riku's wood. "Giving up yet, wuss?" Riku asked, holding his sword out to point to Sora's head like a threat. Sora wiped a tear that formed when he hit the ground and shot back. "Never!"

Riku smirked and gave a deep chuckle. "Fine, have it your way," He lifted his sword high in the air before bringing it down onto Sora's sword, which he pulled in front of his chest just in time. The wood grinded against each other, little splinters erupting from the spot where both swords met. With quick thinking, Sora retreated his sword, grabbed a handful of sand, and chucked it in Riku's face. Riku screamed and kicked Sora's side. "Why do you always do that?!" Sora got up and grinned. "Because I'm awesome," Riku laughed loudly. "No, I'm pretty sure I'm more awesome than you," The battle began. It involved a lot of kicking of the shins and whacking their wooden swords on each others heads.

This is where Kairi got involved. "Stop fighting, you guys!" She whined, jogging across the boards of the bridge. "I'll race you down the beach! Ready…" Sora gave her a dull look. "That's your answer to everything isn't it?" Riku nodded, the same expression plastered on his face. "WHY'RE YOU TWO SO MEAN TO ME?!" Kairi wailed, running back across the bridge to find somebody to give her sympathy. She found no-one.

Meanwhile… In the rock cave…

Rock Man was having a rock bath! Made from pebbles. He squeaked his little rocky ducky and sang a very rocky tune. "WE ARE THE ROCKS WHO SAAAAAY… ROCKS! AND PEBBLES! AND ALL THE OTHER SHMEBBLES! WE ARE ROCK AND ROOOOOOOLL!" For once, he didn't use bad grammar. Is this the start of his new beginning in literacy? "Wee I Come?!" Nevermind. Although his singing was literate, he was tone deaf and the noise was terrible.

Sora covered his ears in disgust as he heard a terrible screeching noise. "What the heck is that?" He moved his hand and his Keyblade appeared. So did Donald and Goofy. "Where the heck were you guys?" Sora asked, scratching his head. Donald shrugged. "Dunno, I think we were singin' 'long with King Mickey's 'I am King Mickey and I am Cool' song." Goofy replied. Sora nodded slowly.

So they charged toward the horrible singing. Bursting through the cave wall, they saw a horrible, terrifying, disgusting, eye popping, teeth brushing, egg planting sight. Rock Man. Naked. Bathed in pebbles. Sora screamed. Donald screamed. Rock Man screamed. Goofy 'huh-yucked'. "I can see yer willie!" "I didn't think it would still be there by the way I kicked them last chapter," Sora commented.

Rock Man screamed again. "Ah! Ah! Get! Get!" He hurridly pointed toward the door and tried to cover himself up. He failed. Sora, Donald and Goofy casually walked out as Rock Man panicked. Once they were gone, Rock Man relaxed again. Sora poked his head back in. "Bye!" He said waving. "OUT!" Rock Man screamed.

When Sora got back to Riku and Kairi, they asked him, "Where did you go?" Sora just shrugged and replied, "Oh, just went and saw Rock Man naked."

**You like? Review! 8D**


	4. Narrators, Beeps and Toothbrushes

**Hello again, my friends!**

**Another chapter has been posted! ouo**

**-kyuubiqueen- - xD Yes, that was the best I could do on short notice.**

**Onto the chapter! 8D**

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Sora skipped along the long windy path. "Why am I skipping along this long windy path?" He asked the narrator. "I don't know, ask the writer!" A very handsome voice spoke from the clouds in heaven. It was obviously the marvelous looking narrator of this story. "Why am I skipping along this long windy path?" Sora asked, obviously to the not as ravishing looking story writer, compared to the unthinkably good looking, undeniably best person there is, the narrator.

"THAT'S IT!" A booming voice thundered. It was obviously not the lovely, pretty, beautiful narrator. "SHUT UP! I SMITE YOU!"

After a lot of smiting, the narrator was replaced. (Thanks for the gig, by the way writer.)

"Why the hell am I skipping along this long windy path?!" Sora asked again, getting frustrated and trying to get the story back to the point. The thundering voice appeared again. "Because you are," Sora smiled and continued to skip. "Good enough for me!"

To be continued…

Right now…

Rock Man appeared in front of the skipping Sora. "I grab him today!" (I have you now!) Sora stopped and stared at the man. Who was Rock Man. "You know, I'll never be able to look at you the same since I saw you naked." Rock Man reddened. "Up shut!" (Shut up!) Goofy appeared. "Maaaaaaaaaan titiieeeeeeeeeeesss!" He hollered. Donald appeared also. "Why don't I do anything funny in this story?!" The thundering voice appeared again. "Because I hate you," Donald exited the screen, screeching profanities. "Beeping beep beeper! I should beep your beeping beep 'til your beeping beeper beeps off!" Goofy also exited the scene. "Donald! Look here! There might be youngin's listenin' ta you! There are things you just can't say on set!" "I can beeping swear if I beeping want to, beeping beeper beep face! Goofy, you have always been a beeper!" Donald answered, disappearing from sight as Goofy chased his duck friend on his bow legs.

Sora just stood there and looked white. "S-So… many… b-beeps…" He mumbled, as he fainted. Rock Man just stood there. A tumbleweed rolled past. Silence. Then Rock Man decided that he should make the story his own for the rest of the chapter!

Flashy lights appeared as Rock Man walked onto the stage in a tuxedo. "Please, please, chicks and dudes," (Thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen,) He spoke, in an announcers voice. "Come well into this century film! Second, I got an perform ants named 'Tree Bocks'." (Welcome to the show of the century! First, I have a performance called 'The Box'.)

A light shone on a closed red curtain, and as it opened, a single cardboard box lay on the floor boards. For a few seconds nothing happened, but then a toothbrush waddled in a jumped on top of it. The crowd applauded and waited for the performance to be performed. The toothbrush waited for a minute, before music ripped on and the toothbrush began to dance! The rumba! The Cha-Cha! Disco! Waltz! Potato! It was doing all sorts of dance! The crowd was stunned. When the toothbrushes dancing subsided, all went silent. The crowd went wild! Clapping and cheering and wooting and hooting and hearing!

The curtain closed and everything suddenly disappeared. Even Rock Man. Even the tumbleweed.

**Yes. Got a bit random at the end. Hope you liked! Review!**


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